Take Your Own Advice

How many times have you ever given someone advice or a few words of encouragement that you know you wouldn’t want to hear yourself?

I am my own worst critic. I hold such high expectations for myself that when I make mistakes, or if I feel like I’m not doing enough, it gives me an immense feeling of dissatisfaction. This can affect the rest of my day, or even the rest of my week.

On the flip side, I tend to be much more lenient when it comes to other people. Nobody is perfect, and mistakes will happen, so it’s easy to understand why someone else might fall short. Everything is a process, and it is only natural to learn from your mistakes. So why can’t I hold myself to the same standards?

Here’s an example that happened not too long ago: I was playing tennis in a mixed doubles tournament with a good friend of mine, and we had made it to the semi-finals. We were playing a very good team, but it was a match that we could have won had we been able to put everything together. At one point in the match, my partner missed an easy shot right in front of the net. She was clearly upset, but I felt no anger, no frustration. I just smiled at her and said, “Hey, it’s okay, let’s move on to the next point.”

A couple games go by, and I find myself in the exact same position: a sitter right on top of the net that I miss badly. I let out a yell of frustration as I know I should have made that shot, especially at such a crucial point in the match. My partner comes up to me with the same smile and gives me the exact same advice that I gave her, but it does little to help as I feel like I let her down by missing that shot. It clearly bothered me because I never found my rhythm, and we ended up losing the match.

Only after the match was over did I think to myself, “Why did I let myself get so upset with that one shot, when I had no problem with my partner doing the exact same thing? Why was I so quick to offer her encouragement, but so reluctant to receive it myself?”

It’s good to hold yourself to high standards, but it’s important to realize that you’re not perfect. People are going to make mistakes, and this includes yourself, too. Learn to take your own advice, and more importantly, remember to give yourself some slack.

Until next time…we are Advoco, make every minute count.

About Justin Dang: Justin is a Solutions Consultant for the Post Implementation (PI) team at Advoco. Problem solving is a pleasure to Justin, and the challenges that come with PI support give him just that. He also loves the company culture and the entire team he gets to work with at Advoco. Outside of work, you can find Justin on the tennis court, at the bowling alley, or just at home playing video games with friends. Have a question for Justin? Send him an email!